Five Star Book: Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

 I almost feel strange saying that I loved this book, because the whole time I’ve been reading it I’ve told any one that will listen that it’s “the saddest book ever.” But, I’ve also only been reading it since yesterday, and just sped through the last 100 pages while allowing rice to burn on my stove, so I guess I can say that I, at the very least, found it compelling. (I was also ugly crying through a lot of those pages too though, I stand by my earlier assessment.)

The book opens:

“Lydia is dead. But they don’t know that yet.”

So it’s not like it’s hard to tell that it’s going to pull at your heartstrings, but the myriad of ways that Celeste Ng managed to (to paraphrase a favorite line of my brother’s about a very different story) “stab me the heart repeatedly and then hand me a band-aid” was truly remarkable. The broad outlines of the plot – the teenage daughter of an Asian-American professor and his white wife, disappears from their sleepy Ohio home one night in 1977 and ends up dead – could have been the start of a boiler plate mystery. But there aren’t any easy answers here, and instead of a who-done-it, we get a real portrait of a family grappling with trying to figure out not only what happened, but why and how they are meant to move forward.

In many ways, it’s a devastating read. (And I mean that, Ng manages to make the image of a drop of water falling onto someone’s arm into something that had me gasping out loud.) But it’s also enthralling and full of empathy for every character involved, even when they all too often fail to have enough for each other. Go in warned, it’s tough, but ultimately I think it’s worth the read.

Best Picture Baking Project: Gentleman’s Agreement

It’s (somehow) almost the end of May, so it was time for the next Best Picture, Gentleman’s Agreement, which is very 40s, but pretty good. All I knew about it going in was it’s basic premise (journalist pretends to be Jewish to expose anti-Semitism) so I searched for “Jewish desserts” and saw that cheesecake came up on every list. (It is also set in New York City, so it wasn’t a terrible choice really.)

Had I seen this one before?

Nope. Like I said, all I knew was the (potentially very problematic) premise. But I think (with a few exceptions, which I’ll get to), it holds up!

Top 3 observations on this viewing? 

1. The acting in this movie is great (again with a clear exception – see point 3). I mean, this wasn’t exactly a surprise, it’s Gregory Peck! And John Garfield (who is the subject of a great You Must Remember This episode that you should listen to here). But my favorite (by far) was Celeste Holm as Anne, Peck’s coworker at the magazine, that he should have fallen in love with. (I honestly don’t know how anyone wouldn’t). Thankfully the Academy recognized this too, and gave her an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress.

2. Though it gets preachy (and obviously does not have a modern conception of the dangers of cultural appropriation), the general morality of this movie holds up exceptionally well. I mean, taking to task all the nice people in Connecticut who know how bad prejudice is, but won’t say anything when a man at the dinner table makes a horrible joke, is (unfortunately) pretty relevant still.

3. The ending of this movie is so frustrating. It basically undoes all the goodwill that it has stored up. (Spoiler alert for a film that is over 70 years old): The fact that he ends up with his nice-Connecticut-“I’m not prejudiced I just know it’s better to not be a Jew”-fiancée Kathy, after her last-act-change-of-heart is gross. Don’t get me wrong, I think people can change. And I’m super glad that she offers her Darien “cottage” to her fiancé’s actually Jewish friend and his family, but that’s not a reason to marry her. To be honest, I don’t buy their “love at first cocktail party” relationship at all. Partly this is due to the actress, Dorothy McGuire, is definitely the weak link in this cast, but she has ZERO chemistry with Peck (which is highlighted with his delightful energy with Holm).

What did it beat? Did it deserve to win? 

Crossfire – Never heard of it, but Gloria Grahame (an obsession of mine) was nominated for Best Supporting Actress for it so I’m going to assume it’s worthy.

Great Expectations – This is a great movie.

Miracle on 34th Street – Obviously a classic and I love that Edmund Gwenn won an Oscar for playing Santa Claus.

The Bishop’s Wife – Another classic. (Though for nostalgia reasons, I am partial to its 90s remake.)

I would say that Gentleman’s deserved the win if you turn it off before the last two minutes. As is – it’s a tie with David Lean’s Great Expectations.

Bechdel Test pass? 

I don’t think so. There are 5 named women, 3 of whom are layered and well acted and certainly have their own emotions and feelings. But the only women I can remember talking to each other discuss which families are being invited to a party. Which I guess is technically not about a man, except it is really, because what they are really discussing is whether or not Peck is an acceptable boyfriend.

There are a million cheesecake recipes on the internet. I usually choose a “No-Bake” version when I make one for our Sunday family dinner, but for the project I went with a slightly more involved version (but not like – water bath, corn starch involved).

Easy-ish Cheesecake

Ingredients for Crust

• 10 whole graham crackers, crushed (I used the cinnamon sugar kind for a slightly more fun flavor)
• 1/4 cup confectioners sugar
• 1/3 cup melted butter
• 1/8 teaspoon salt

Ingredients for Filling 

• 2 cups cream cheese, at room temperature
• 2 large eggs
• 2/3 cup granulated sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions 

1. Select a 9″ pie pan, with a deep bottom (I used my standard 9in Pirex) 
2. Preheat oven to 350F
3. Make the crust be stirring together all the crust ingredients, mixing until thoroughly combined
4. Press the crumbs into the bottom and up the sides of the pie pan, making a thicker layer on the bottom than on the sides
5. Make the filling by mixing together the cream cheese and sugar until smooth
6. Mix in the eggs and vanilla, again mixing until smooth at a low to medium speed
7. Pour filling into crust
8. Bake for 20 min.
9. Remove from oven and place foil around edges as a crust sheild
10. Place back in oven and bake for 10 more minutes
11. Remove cheesecake from oven and let cool
12. Place in refrigerator until ready to serve

 

Five Star Book: The Lonely City by Olivia Laing

“What does it feel like to be lonely? It feels like being hungry: like being hungry when everyone around you is readying for a feast.” 

I had to return this book to the library this morning and I felt a real pang at giving it back. It’s been a long time since I felt that kind of connection to a borrowed book. (Everything I Never Told You a few years ago in Austin maybe?) But I’m actually really glad that I read the slightly-water-warped Queens-communal copy of this book, because it felt like exactly the kind of evidence of other people’s search for connection that the book describes.

British writer/critic Olivia Laing moved to New York City to follow a romantic partner who then promptly broke her heart. Finding herself isolated in a city filled with far too many people (my own editorializing about my own experience in this city is unavoidable here) she burrows into the rabbit hole of studying lonely New Yorkers (and one Chicagoan) who came before her and used art to try to articulate their predicament. Through the biographies and work of artists as varied as Andy Warhol, Edward Hopper, and singer Klaus Nomi, she examines loneliness not just as a feeling, but as state of existence. One that can have truly devastating consequences (like for the to-me-disturbing work of the outsider artist Henry Darger whose indigent childhood and mostly solitary adulthood worked it’s way out in twisted mythological paintings of violence towards child-like cherubs).

 

Laing’s approach, well-researched and articulated academic argument mixed with a breathtaking vulnerability about her own lonely period, drew me in from the first page and never let me go. Some of these artists I had heard of before (a few like Warhol and Nan Goldin I already loved) but her obvious affection for her subject made me want to delve into their work and lives. I especially fell in love with her depiction of the multimedia artist and activist David Wojnarowicz, and I can’t wait to delve more deeply into his work. The act of creation, according to Laing, is an attempt at connection, and though she may worry about the virtual nature of this (the last chapter is a bit of a polemic against the faux-sociability of our networked culture), I couldn’t help but feel a little less alone reading this book.

David Wojnarowicz, Arthur Rimbaud in New York (On Subway), 1978-79.